Christmas Week: Boston College’s Festivus Airing of Grievances

I got a lotta problems with you people!

Today is Festivus, and in true Frank Costanza spirit, we’re going to let out all of our displeasure. Thankfully, much of it has been rectified with the dismissal of certain people involved with the football program, but being Boston College fans, we’ve all had times this year where we’ve been more than frustrated.

In also keeping with Frank Costanza’s wishes, we will not include tinsel anywhere in this post, as it has distracting qualities.

How the hell do you lose to Army in football? I sat in traffic for an hour and a half just to get onto the USMA campus — twice as long as it took me to get there — and then I walked around campus for another half an hour looking for a bathroom, and after all that, you go and lose? That was a harrowing experience, BC football.

Bryant? Seriously? When I think of “Bryant,” I think of Bryant Gumbel, not “big-time basketball school.” You can almost forgive a loss like that in your first couple games as an all-freshman team, but losing a contest like that as sophomores is like making a boom in your pants in 6th grade. Good thing you got a quality win against Providence yesterday.

Speaking of Providence, Jerry York’s 925th should have been there. I know, hockey team, you’re great and we rarely get to complain about anything you do, but your coach is a legend. You were a matter of seconds away from giving him the all-time wins record, and you couldn’t hold it together. As they say on ESPN, c’mon, man.

The Spring Game on March 31, in the cold rain and wet snow. I’m sure all 12 people in attendance, who were huddled around flaming garbage cans for warmth, enjoyed the game perfectly fine.

Plenty of ghost stories at Conte Forum, because the place is full of them. Whenever I watch BC basketball games and see six students behind the basket, I die a little inside. Your studying will be there when you get back, just go to the damn games already. (And BC, give incentives for students to actually go.)

Next up: Feats of strength. Scheduled events: I will arm-wrestle Athletic Director Brad Bates, and head football coach Steve Addazio will pull a Buick down College Road using only a rope and his teeth.